


Don't Let Go (Of Me)

by potentiala



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All Other Pairings Are Background, Crushes, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, How does one do slow burn?, M/M, Post-Canon, SHIDGE, Say you won't let go, Shidge Valentines Exchange, Slow Burn, Slow burn ish?, but the Shidge needs me, for the Shidge Valentines Exchange, inspired by a song, lots of feelings, pre-kerberos, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13529265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiala/pseuds/potentiala
Summary: She smiled at him.Right over her shoulder. Gold eyes shining with mirth and mischief. And that's when he knew, painfully well, that he was a goner.





	Don't Let Go (Of Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sharpshooting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharpshooting/gifts).



> My gift for adeerli for the Shidge Valentines Exchange! 
> 
> This was definite challenge to write, seeing as though I've never done a slow-burn type of fic before. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this and spread the Shidge love! <3
> 
> Inspired by James's Arthur's song "Say You Won't Let Go"

**_“_ ** **_I met you in the dark, you lit me up_ ** **_”_ **

They met on orientation day.

   Not _her_ orientation day, mind you, but her brother’s. And freshly graduated Garrison Officer Takashi Shirogane couldn’t help but notice them.

He introduced himself to Matt first.

   Immediately taking a liking to the bright young man with the mischievous eyes. He answered his questions and helped quell some of his parents’ worries.

Then he saw her.

 **_“_ ** **_You made me feel as though I was enough_ ** **_”_ **

   A quiet, small little thing with long hair and a brand-new dress. Looking half in envy and half in worry at the state-of-the-art facilities all around them. Then she caught his eyes looking her way.

Her’s were gold.

   Bright and burning and not unlike a punch to the gut. Somehow, Shiro managed to send a smile her way before he was whisked away by their father, a Commander Shiro had nothing but respect for.

But the look of her and those intense eyes never left him.

===

He was here.

   Of course Katie knew him, Matt never shut up about him in his letters. The Garrison golden boy that everyone seemed half in love with, Takashi Shirogane. And Katie definitely couldn’t understand the allure. Absolutely. No way. Not at all. Pffft!

That’s ridiculous!

**_“We danced the night away…”_ **

   Who was she kidding? Katie has faced a lot of problems in her 14 years of life, but this was, by far, the worst one. Katherine Annalise Holt had a crush.

And she had it bad.

**_“We drank too much.”_ **

   So bad that the young girl couldn’t help but wring the hem of her dress in her hands. The Holt family had traveled back to the Garrison after an entire year to celebrate Matt graduating from Cadet to Cadet Corporal at the youngest age of 17. Pride warming away every one of Katie’s frazzled nerves at the sight of her brother standing at attention in a brand new uniform.

Iverson continuing to drone on.

“...as acting Drill Sergeant of this year’s class I have had, not only the honor of watching these young men and women mature and grow, but to collaborate with one of the Garrison's brightest alumni, Takashi Shirogone.” Iverson’s constantly shrill voice paused to allow the room to fill with applause.

For him.

   Katie’s stomach flip-flopped as she clapped along with the crowd. Everyone’s eyes on Takashi. Who looked illegally handsome in his Officer’s uniform. Fit to his figure, it showed off a great deal of his excellent build.

Much to Katie’s destress.

“A few words Shirogone?” Iverson called out, Shiro clearly caught off-guard but accepting the offer graciously nonetheless. Flashing a smile so bright, Katie’s brain had to reboot for a solid minute. He turned toward the graduating cadets, Matt being one of the smallest among them. Dark grey eyes alit with warmth and pride.

“As my first year teaching, I must say that it’s been an eventful one.” Laughter titered amongst her brother’s class, in inside jokes Katie longed to know. The young girl wishing, not for the first time, that the age requirements for apply to the Garrison weren’t so high.

“But I wouldn’t have it any other way.” At this, he looked back to the crowd. That warm gaze sweeping over everyone like dawn’s first rays of sunlight. Katie barely fought back a blush as Shiro’s eyes seemed to settle in her direction. But, to her surprise, Shiro suddenly seemed so nervous.

Those warm eyes lowering. 

“I-um...I’m really humbled by this experience. Teaching the next generation like this...has been amazing a-and a tremendous honor. So, thank you all for sticking with me for so long.” There was something incredibly endearing about the way Shiro seemed so bashful in that moment. Something so sweet that Katie could help the bright, brilliant smile gracing her young features.

**_“I held your hair back when you were throwing up.”_ **

Then his eyes were on her.

   Not on the crowd. Not on her brother’s class. But on her. Katie knew it, she felt it. That soft gaze nearly gave her a heart attack, sure, but she did her best to smile encouragingly at him.

And, to Katie’s surprise, it seemed to work.

**_“Then you smiled over your shoulder...”_ **

“I look forward to seeing all the boundaries you all willbreak. And I know that each and every one of you are capable of incredible greatness. But I must admit…” Her heart leapt to her throat. But what? What did he-Shiro’s gaze on her warmed, a bright smile tugging at his lips as he looked at her.

**_“And for a minute…”_ **

“I eagerly await the conquests of the newest generation of graduates, I...have a feeling they’re going to do so some pretty amazing things. Thank you.” Katie couldn’t even hear the applause, she was still glued to her seat. Heart slamming against her windpipe. The image of Shiro’s encouraging half-smile and soft eyes imprinting onto her mind. Cementing itself amongst all the other theories and equations that made way more sense to her than her own feelings for Shiro.

**_“I was stone-cold sober.”_ **

===

Don’t think of her.

   Don’t picture her. Don’t try to remember her voice. Don’t try to remember how her eyes shone. Don’t bring her visage to place like this. Don’t say her name.

Don’t you dare bring her memory here.

**_“I pulled you closer to my chest.”_ **

   Who knows how long Shiro had been in this place. Purple fluorescent lights and alien, animal faces blurred together in his mind. Or in what little cognitive function he had left. Everything seemed to be an endless cycle of blood and bone and screaming.

_Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill. Lunge. Cut. Fight. Kill._

Katie.

 **_“And you asked me to stay over…”_**  

   God, but then there were moments, too many for Shiro to count, where he’d think back to all the people he’s failed. Matt, who was God knows where. Commander Holt, who Shiro hoped and prayed was still alive, despite all the horror of their situation. And...no, he wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t do that. Shiro can’t think of-

Katie.

**_“I said, ‘I already told ya-‘ ”_ **

   Out of everyone, Shiro had failed her the most. He remembered how proud she looked on launch day. How those golden eyes turned molten with joy as she and her mother sent the three of them off. How she jokingly made him promise to keep her family safe.

So lovely he couldn’t breathe. 

   He still couldn’t breathe as he, guiltily remembered memories of the brilliant younger Holt in a place like this. A place so messed up and violent that it should never tarnish her memory, no matter how secondhand it was.

But Shiro didn’t have long to think.

   Two more purplish aliens cornered him in his cell. Shiro couldn’t even muster the spirit to fight them. The former pilot roughly shoved into the wall and muzzled. Bound in strange, glowing chains until it was time to release him. 

Out of the fire and into the frying pan in the worst way.

   But even as Shiro was pushed and shoved towards the slaughter fest that was the Arena.

His thoughts were of her.

**_“ ‘I think that you should get some rest...’ ”_ **

===

She saw him again.

   Part of her knew she would, eventually. But this time the sight of him did nothing to her. Gone we’re the blushing cheeks and fluttering heart. She wasn’t that crushing young girl anymore.

She wasn’t Katie anymore either.

   Nothing like love twisted her heart at the sight of him, seemingly deranged and pleading on that hospital cot. Katie, now Pidge, only felt one thing as she looked at him. Felt something ugly and hideous coil in her stomach.

_How dare he?_

   How dare **_he_ ** be here instead of Matt and her father? How dare **_he_ ** be the only one who came back? How dare...how dare he just _show up_?

Crashing back, quite literally, into her life.

**_“I knew I loved you then.”_ **

   She had spent so long killing whatever she had felt for him. Exhausting herself with the search to find her family to avoid thinking about _him_. But it never worked.

Not really.

   And now here he was, screaming, pleading for anyone to stop and listen to him. That they were all going to die. That there were Galra just outside-

Pidge couldn’t take it.

   She had had enough. Enough with the lies. Enough with the hurt. Enough with the constant dull ache in her chest. She had to end this the only way she knew how.

She had to save him.

**_“But you’d never know…”_ **

===

She can’t leave, was his first thought.

   But Shiro looked at her face, at those burning gold eyes and that furious glare, and couldn’t find it within himself to stop her.

He failed her.

**_“'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go.”_ **

   Shiro a had failed to protect her family, of course she wanted to leave them and find them herself. Of course she’d want nothing more to do with him. Shiro knew all that. 

But it still hurt.

**_“I know I needed you…”_ **

   It still hurt seeing how little she seemed to care about him. How much she wanted to get away from him. It cut him worse than the Galra ever had.

But he’d let her go.

**_But I never showed.”_ **

   It’d kill him, but he owed her so much. So, for the rest of the night, Shiro kept outside. So no one could see how much he was hurting. He liked her.

He really liked her.

   Which was horrible because she was only 16. Which was awful because he had left Matt and her father in the hands of the Galra. Which was just wrong because-

 **_“_ ** **_But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old…”_ **

“Shiro? Can we talk?” Trying to tell himself that his heart didn’t skip a beat at her voice would’ve just added insult to his many injuries. Shiro took a few moments to school his expression before turning to her.

And how much she’d changed.

 **_“_ ** **_Just say you won't let go...”_ **

   The last time he saw her everything was different. Everything was simpler. Her cheeks were flushed with cold, but Katie’s smile was so electric that she seemed completely immune to it. She was so small then, so delicate.

Not anymore.

 **_“_ ** **_Just say you won't let go…”_ **

   Seemingly everything about Katie had hardened, sharped to a deadly point. She was force to be reckoned with. A young girl becoming a woman in war. And Shiro couldn't help but morn the fact. Especially like this, when she was standing just to his left in her armor. All its sharp angles and thick plating doing nothing to help Shiro's guilt.

Doing nothing to stop his heart breaking.  

===

 **_“_ ** **_I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed.”_ **

He’d get nightmares sometimes.

   After the first couple instances and the deep, dark bags under his eyes, Pidge had decided enough was enough. She, despite her best efforts, had begun feeling something for the Black Paladin again. Something gentle and flickering in her chest that warmed her when this war chilled her.

Thus began their _unique_ sleeping arrangement.

**_“I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head...”_ **

   They’d head for his room at about the Earth equivalent of 10 o’clock, and, while Shiro would usually knock right out, Pidge would just slip in beside him and continue working until she was either done with her project or passed out from exhaustion.

But it was usually the latter.

**_“And I'll take the kids to school…”_ **

   Still, for reasons Pidge refused to think about, Shiro seemed to sleep better with her there. Even when she wasn’t under the blanket with him, Shiro would still rest surprisingly peacefully. And for that, Pidge was immensely thankful.

Even if mornings were a little awkward.

**_“Wave them goodbye.”_ **

   Shiro, for the most part, would wake up before her. But the 6-foot-something guy had no chance of leaving the small, twin sized bed without disturbing her awake in some way. Neither would really talk about it, seeing it was a habit the two just sort of...picked up.

Shiro would leave.

   Leave Pidge alone in a suddenly too-big bed in a room that smelled just like him. The young girl having to tell herself over and over that this was bigger than her resurfacing feelings for Shiro. This was for his sake and sanity.

She couldn’t take advantage of that.

   So every morning Pidge had to stumble back to her own room, alone. Then go to breakfast and act like the whole arrangement never even existed. Like Pidge never knew how much younger Shiro looked when he slept. Or that sometimes his hand would fall to her waist and sleep would suddenly be the furthest thing from her mind. Yeah.

It’s sucked.

**_“And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night…”_ **

   But there were bigger things than the aching hurt in her chest to deal with, so Pidge just fought it down and threw herself into everything she did even more. Hoping that, one day, things could be normal again.

That she could be honest with Shiro.

===

Years passed.

   Everyone grew harder, tougher. The war still raged on, but now they were fighting fire with fire. The Coalition was growing everyday and people were shedding their fear of the Empire like a second skin. Everything was looking up.

But Shiro didn’t feel that way.

**_“When you looked over your shoulder-“_ **

   They found Matt. And for the first time, in a long, long time, he saw Pidge truly and purely happy. Pidge, now 17, had finally gotten a piece of her family back. Not as battle scarred or traumatized as him, Matt fit in right away with their crew.

Falling back in place with Shiro.

  The two rekindling their friendship and trust. But one thing, one very important thing was different now.

Katie.

Pidge. 

   Before the younger Holt had been a witty, brilliant young girl who Shiro liked to joke with. Now? Now things were different.

Now _she_ was different.

 **_“For a minute, I forget that I'm older.”_**  

   She was still as burning and brilliant as those gold eyes, but there was so much more to her now. She was a woman on the war front. Battle-scarred and formidable in every sense. Pidge was someone he’d trust his life with. The only problem?

He wanted her to have his heart to.

**_“I wanna dance with you right now…”_ **

   Pidge had indeed grown lovelier over the years and to say that Shiro had never imagined the two as couple would be false in every sense. As beautiful as she was smart, those golden eyes seemed to spell ruin for suitors who weren’t careful.

And Shiro was one of them.

 **_“Oh! And you look as beautiful as ever!”_ **  

   Matt had found out embarrassingly easily. But the older Holt never ridiculed Shiro. No. Matt did something much worse.

He encouraged it.

**_“And I swear that everyday you'll get better.”_ **

   Saying that the two were perfect for each other and that she definitely thought of him the same way. Which, naturally, Shiro knew better to believe.

But a part of him hoped.

   Hoped that Matt was right every time her smile seemed to linger on him. Everytime he’d find himself lulled to rest by her focused face illuminated by her computer within his room. Everytime she’d pull him back from the nightmares and visions and into her brilliance. A dear, dangerous part of him hoped for such things.

And maybe, one day, he’d tell her all that.

**_“You make me feel this way somehow…”_ **

   But war was never kind to such sentiments. Such sentiments already begged to be proven wrong.

And they were.

===

Oh God.

   Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. This couldn’t be happening. No. No! This wasn’t real! This is just a dream.

Just a nightmare.

**_“I'm so in love with you…”_ **

“ _SHIRO!_ ” Her throat hurt, but Pidge couldn’t care. All she cared about was getting down this damn hill and rush to his side. What was he even thinking?

Taking that bullet for her.

   Oh God, there was blood everywhere. A usually orthodox sight made horrifically new when she saw who caused it.

Shiro.

   Was he even breathing? Oh God please be breathing. Don’t stop breathing. Don’t leave me again. Don’t go until I-

“K-Katie?”

**_“And I hope you know.”_ **

“I’m here, I’m right here Shiro. Stay with me. Stay with me please.” When did she start sobbing? When had her tears began to choke her?

She grabbed his hand.

   Slick with blood, the metal was cooling in her hands. Hunk quickly rushed in, med kit in tow while Pidge tried to keep Shiro awake.

Alive.

**_“Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in…”_ **

“Shiro! Shiro, look at me! Eyes on me, c’mon. Please!” Dark, blood soaked lashes fluttered up to her. Shiro’s bloodied head in her lap as Hunk tried to stanch the massive amount of blood leaving his body. But his eyes, warm and gray and heartbreaking, still cling to her so dearly.

So preciously.

“Gold…” He murmured weakly as she gazed up at her. Pidge’s tears falling onto his soiled face. Creating clear tracts in the dirt and gore. But, despite all that, the sight of such a soft look on Shiro face made Pidge smile.

And tears fall harder.

**_“We've come so far my dear…”_ **

“Stay with me ok big guy? Well get you patched up s-”

Shiro coughed.

   Blood splattering against his lips as the man sounded as if he was trying to retch out his lungs. Pidge cupped his face, trying to bring him back to her. Trying her best to ignore the warmth of his blood against her palms. 

“Shiro? Shiro please stay with me…” She hated the whine in her voice, but the tears just wouldn’t stop. The pain in her chest damn near killing her. No...No, I couldn’t end like this.

Not like this.

**_“Look how we've grown.”_ **

   Not after everything they’ve been through. Not after how long she’s loved him. He can’t die. She wouldn’t let him.

She couldn’t let him.

**_“And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old.”_ **

“Katie...Katie I-” Pidge saw it then. Saw it in the way he looked at her, halfway dead and broken beyond measure, but still gazing up at her like he’d do it all again for her. She saw it in those gray eyes and how they shone with unsaid words and unshed tears. She saw it in the way his bloody, bruised hands held onto her arms so reverently. Pidge saw it then.

And cursed herself for not seeing it sooner.

**_“Just say you won't let go…”_ **

“I know...I know…” She soothed, gazing back at him. Pidge’s face a near mirror of his own. Vision blurring with tears as she leaned down.

And kissed him.

**_“Just say you won't let go…”_ **

===

Kissing her was all Shiro wanted to do. 

   Pidge made a soft noise in the back of her throat as she pulled him closer and out of his thoughts. The air between them, in his room suddenly too hot. Too stifling unless every inch of her was pressed against every inch of him.

**_“I wanna live with you…”_ **

   Shiro’s mechanical hand slid under her shirt. Reveling in the smooth curve of her hips and waist. Against his throat, Pidge sighed contently and sent Shiro’s heart fluttering.

He kissed her again.

**_“Even when we're ghosts.”_ **

   Kissing Pidge was like nothing he’d ever imagine it to be. Kissing Pidge was all bursting citrus and warmth and freckles against his hands. Kissing Pidge was the best thing in the world, and Shiro didn’t know if he could ever give it up. 

Her arms wrapped around his neck.

   Pulling him even closer, if that was possible, as Shiro rubbed his hand along the gentle curve of her bare back. He parted away from her, if only slightly. Just to look at her. 

And those gold eyes.

   Made a little darker from their kissing, but shining in the lowlight of his room nonetheless. Pidge was older now, her features more prominent, and fondness sang so loudly in Shiro’s heart, he couldn’t help but feel weak.

**_“'Cause you were always there for me…”_ **

“I love you.” He breathed, the declaration coming out half scared and half infatuated. Watching the spark in Pidge’s eyes light up and a bright smile stretch along her face.

**_“When I needed you most.”_ **

Her palm on either side of his head.

   Seeming to memorize all his features with her calloused, thin fingers. Trailing along his jaw and over his temple. Across his eyebrows.

Fluttering over his scars.

“I love you to.”

===

**_“I'm gonna love you till my lungs give out.”_ **

The war was over.

   The greater evil had been defeated. The universe could finally breathe a breath of freedom after so long a time spent suffering.

Especially for the Paladins.

**_“I promise till death we part…”_ **

   Hunk chose to stay with Shay and help her fellow Balmerans discover what it meant to be free. Though, judging by their entwined hands as they waved the Castle off, that wasn’t exactly the only reason.

Allura and Matt had a lot of work ahead of them.

  The rebel fighter and the Princess had grown close over the course of the war. Matt every bit a gushing, loving boyfriend that never failed to make Allura laugh.  Coran watching the two carefully all the while. Allura’s diplomacy plus Matt’s strategy proving to be an incredible combination for the Coalition.

And, naturally, Lance and Keith went back to Earth.

**_“Like in our vows.”_ **

   Lance, apparently, having promised the Red Paladin an introduction to the entirety of Lance’s family. The sight of their entwined hands and bright red cheeks never failing to bring a smile to Pidge’s face.

Which left only two.

**_“So I wrote this song for you…”_ **

   What was next for her? For Shiro? Well, with the Empire out of the way, someone need to take charge of the noncombatant Galra and establish the Blades of Marmora as pillars of stability. And who better to do it?

Than the Champion himself.

**_“Now everybody knows!”_ **

   He was hesitant about it. She could see it in his eyes and the way his human hand wrapped around his metal one. Pidge knew that the thought of overseeing the entire race of creatures that harmed him would be painful.

But that’s why she was there.

 **_“ ‘Cuase now its just you and me…”_**  

   Whatever the challenge, whatever the curse. Pidge would help him bear it. So, come the day Kolivan and the Blade came to take them away to rebuild their enemies, they just held each other.

Steadied each other. 

**_“Till we’re grey and old.”_ **

   Shiro looked to her then, concern pinching the worn planes of his face in such a way that he seemed to ask her, _“are you sure?”_ , all over again. He looked older now. Older in ways Pidge couldn’t even describe. But he was hers.

And she was his.

**_“Just say you won’t let go…”_ **

   So while she knew this new adventure would test them, as long as they had each other, Pidge knew that they’d be fine. They’ve gone through too much to just back down now. Squeezing his hand in hers, Pidge took the first step toward leading a new legion of Galra. With her hand in his, Shiro walked right beside her.

**_“Just say you won’t let go…”_ **

Side by side.

Toward a new future, together.

**_“Just say you won’t let go…”_ **

**_“Just say you won’t let go…”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to check out adeerli and myself on tumblr for more writing and Shidge! <3


End file.
